Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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