very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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