That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
