So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
