none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
