Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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