She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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