AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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