she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize