Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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