I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
