oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
