theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize