I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
