I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
