they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize