All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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