Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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