No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
