The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
