the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
