WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
