Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize