OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the day after is always just damage control
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
