Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
