I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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