I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
