it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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