its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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