Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
