Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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