She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
