I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
