Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
