Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize