oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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