i think my tv is drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
