the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
