My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
high people should be assigned attendants
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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