sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
