Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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