Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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