My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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