I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
