so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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