yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
