Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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