i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
