Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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