i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
