I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
