people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
