I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
