I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A bitchslap is in order.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize