i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
