my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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