what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
