if only i could text you this smell
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize