I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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