i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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