I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
