Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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